Tuesday, April 5, 2011

Sunday at Stanford and Some General Ruminations

Amy says that I need to include more reflection, and I agree. So, for this post, I will try shorten my summary of yesterday.

I went on a nice snack-picnic with Michelle and Bianca, two of my friends from Petaluma who got into Stanford with me. Because of that whole deferring-Stanford–for-a-year thing, they're both graduating this spring, and, after going to school together for NINE YEARS, we may never see each other again. It is pretty bewildering when I think about it.

Then I crashed the senior gift-giving event, just because I could. Sarah Nguyen, a friend from Petaluma going to UC Davis, also happened to randomly be on campus yesterday. It was great to see you. Also, the event had free champagne and a chocolate fountain. I saw a bunch of friends there, most of whom wondered what I was doing there.

I helped some JSA-endorsed senate candidates flier at Yost, EAST, and Murray. I did it alone, and I didn't enjoy it. I don't even know the people I helped. Hopefully they're as deserving of my time and energy as my friends say they are.

That night I went over to Hammerskold to visit Laura. She told me all about her time in Berlin, and I gave her some of the news she had missed about Winter Quarter Yost. True to form, Keren came back from a party. Then she told us some great stories about experiences at South African clubs. Crazy stuff.

For now, all I have is a list of a few things I want to start thinking about.

1. Purpose. How do I find it? What does it look like? How specific or general does it need to be? Short term or long term? What should I do if I don't have it? How should I feel about not having it? What should I do when I think I have found it? Why has it eluded me these past couple years?

2. Goals for Oxford. What are they? Which ones are most important? Meet people? Make friends? Make Stanford friend? Make Oxford friends? See sights? Get to know some cities? Focus on academics? Play sports? Stay in Oxford? Get out of Oxford? Sleep? I can't do it all (well).

3. Inspiration. How and where can I find it? How can I make myself more ready to experience it? What should I do when I find it?

4. Love. Where do I find it? Or does it find me? Do I know it or feel it? Do I need it? How valuable is it? Is it a helper or a hinderance? It's role outside marriage?

5. Future. The F-word. I don't know where to begin. Need to address the items above first, really.

Some things I need to process:
1. Saying goodbye to people I may never see again.
2. The entirety of winter quarter, especially identifying successes and failures.
3. The effects of keeping a blog/journal.

That's all I've got for tonight. Hopefully I will think about all these things and have some publishable thoughts about them in the near future.

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